Golden Wedding Ring

It is a Golden Ring.... as Tammy Wynnette and George Jones so eloquently put it,
"Golden Ring With One Tiny Little Stone
Waiting There For Someone To Take It Home
By Itself It's Just A Cold Metallic Thing
Only Love Can Make A Golden Wedding Ring"

Yes, y'all I was raised on these words of wisdom.... Thanks to WIVK, Knoxville. But aren't these words to a 'drown myself in beer country song' so true? Don't you find yourself wanting to say, "Amen, Brother"!!!

What makes us cling to the bond that a small metallic band represents? Is it Love? Is it Faith? Is it the visual reminder? When we are married it is for life. We take our vows "until death do us part". Rev. Jack Hudson did not say, "Until he gets sick, until he makes you mad, until you get tired".... he said, "you will be united to this man until you DIE!". Whew!!!!.... now that is a pill to swallow...  Maybe that is why it took me so long to say "I Do"....being the commitment phobe that I am for 30 years that thought made me run for cover..... Maybe that is why so many of my friends and family thought they would never see me walk down the aisle.... because I take those words to the bank. I know that the road will not be easy. I had a living example in my father that you may be required to endure more than any human should have to tolerate or handle on their own but if you make a commitment you stand behind it. He also tried to teach me not to say anything I do not mean...but I am still working on that one. He always taught me that once you are married the success of your marriage is up to you and the devil is always happy to oblige and disguise himself as family, friend or counselor to "help" you or your marriage. I call these ring guards. Ring guards slip in between you and your honey to "help" just like a ring guard slips closely between you and your ring.

Why is it that it is getting harder and harder for Christians to have successful marriages? If someone doesn't believe in God....what holds their bond together? If someone doesn't wear a visual 'stop sign', how do they stay committed in the face of life? What makes people with children hang in there? Is it for the kids? Financial reasons? What about those who could "easily walk" who stay? Why do we stick it out through cancer and illness? Why do we love our extended families? Why do we go to all of the concerts, games, events with a smile? Why do we get up everyday and try to make the day a good one for someone else??

The common thread is love...love....love......
"Only Love Can Make A Golden Wedding Ring".

My prayer is that God will bless my marriage always with this kind of love.....precious metal transforming unending love.

Standing in Awe

As we are preparing for our trip to Disney, I am reminded of a beautiful moment from a past trip that I will never forget. Our daughter, Addison, was two and her favorite princess was Cinderella. She lovingly called her "Rella". We had scheduled a princess breakfast where Addison would be able to meet the princesses. Our baby girl loved meeting, talking to, laughing with and taking pictures with Snow White, Aerial, Belle and Aurora as they came by to greet her. It was like she was catching up with old friends. Then there was a pause as she looks up and saw "her"..... "Rella" in the flesh. She could not move. She could not speak. Cinderella came over, took pictures and talked to Addison. She was lovely and so kind. Addison was never able to speak she stared in awe at the object of her adoration. I do not expect to ever see this reaction again from my daughter in this lifetime; but I wait patiently for the day that I will feel this adoration and bow to my King who I have waited to see. I can only imagine the feeling of matchless awe that will consume the moment. I just picture kneeling in a river of thankful tears and being overcome with wonder.  Thank you, Father, for giving me a glimpse of true wonder and adoration in that precious moment with my daughter. I await the day that I can stand in amazement at Your presence.

Which Path To Choose

I am back to my blog after a difficult month. I have seen first hand more clearly than ever before that we choose our path in life everyday. For those that may not know, Hal and I had a miscarriage. I have had to choose over the past couple of weeks which path of thought I will take. I have had the emotional thoughts of, "Why us", "I believe we are decent parents--we definitely try", "I dedicate my time and energy to help save precious little lives. Why would God take this one from me?", "We do try; we fail everyday, but we try to live our lives pleasing to God. Is this our reward?","Why would God give our baby a heart beat and then take it away. Why would God take being a big sister, 'The best big sister ever' from Addison.""My husband tries so hard to be a great father and husband, he doesn't deserve this pain... why, why, why???". These thoughts of course seep into my mind. Then I must make a decision to stay there or to take a dear friend's advice and "Go There! But do not stay there!!". I have revisited this advice often. It is human to wonder, to get angry, to cry, to hurt. Where we find our faith is when we choose to stay on the narrow path. I am hurt. I miss my baby. I grieve for the life it will not have. I mourn the events our family will never see with our angel because it is in heaven. BUT I know God has a plan for our lives. I choose to take the path of thankfulness and preserverance. I am thankful for the two wonderful children that we have. I am thankful that I did not have an emergency situation and that my care was second to none. I am grateful that God has restored our baby and taken her/him to live with Him. I am thankful so much for our church family, earthly family and incredible prayer warriors that God has placed in our lives who lifted us up to our Father and supported us through this experience.
The Devil uses tragedy to destroy our faith and to give ammunition to nonbelievers. A nonbeliever would use tragedy to try to discredit your faith. Faith is maintaining your belief in spite of anything that you encounter in life. Faith is knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that your Heavenly Father is not punishing you but the One who is carrying you through.

Thank you, Saran, for the words of Godly wisdom!

On the Practical Side-- Frizzies Be Gone

I had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful hairdresser while on a Girls' Weekend. Here are some great tips she gave me that I wanted to share with all other mom's and dad's who cringe at the thought of having to do their little girl's hair. Here are some tips:

1. Use a wide tooth comb---not a brush EVER!!

2. A small amount of Moroccan Oil does wonders.

3. Use the Ouchless bands if you must use bands.

4. Use a Moisturizing shampoo (I have always been afraid of this one...for fear of greasies adding to the frizzies --- but it actually works).

5. Make sure to use conditioner after shampooing or a leave in conditioner.

6. Finally, get your little angel's hair trimmed at least once every 3 months.

I am afraid taming my baby girl's mane will be a life long battle ...... but we are in it for the long haul... she wants long hair and with memories close to my heart of my mom cutting my hair "like a boy" I have promised to never shear her lovely locks.

Lessons We Teach Our Children

This morning, I was listening to a morning radio show as they talked about the Trayvon Martin news story in Florida. Now if you are unaware of this story, I would have to encourage you to inch out from under the rock that has you so weighed down. In case you haven't heard, a seemingly clearly innocent black child was murdered in Florida and his killer is still walking free because of insanely lax laws in Florida. As a bystander that really only has an opinion, I stand and can not understand how in our country this can be happening.... when there is witnesses and it seems so cut and dry. Would this be happening if it were my child who were shot and left to die? As much as I like to think that we live in a decent society, I would have to say, "No". If it were my sweet boy, that I love (no more or less that this sweet mom loves her son) I do think the reaction would have been different. I pray that I will never know for sure; but, I would have trouble imagining that the killer would not have been basically tried and found guilty before they even closed the squad car door behind him. Why is this difference in justice still happening? OK now back to the morning show, One of the participants (an educated black man) said during the discussion that among other things that he has taught his son, just as his mother taught him, is to keep his hands out of his pockets! People will assume you are stealing or going to cause trouble, he said. I was so surprised and admittedly a little doubtful and it led me to wonder what other "lessons" my black friends teach their children. I decided to test the waters and ask my friend at lunch if she taught her son the same thing and she without hesitation said, "Of Course". She told me that her child has to be taught how to avoid trouble and survive. She is one of the most lovely people I have ever known. She is a smart loving woman, definitely not some vigilante. She said another thing that it is so important for her child to learn is when to be quiet. Not for the same reasons that I would love to be able to get this point across to my children, just for respect and not driving me crazy.... but for their own safety. "They have to know when to stop and if someone says to 'Stop' or 'Be Quiet' that is exactly what he must do." I thought as a society that we were bridging the gap. To some extent we are, but when terrible things like this incident in Florida happen it shows that there are still different lessons that we have to teach our children. Sometimes, no matter how much we have taught them because of ignorance of others it may not be enough. My heart and prayers go out to the family of Trayvon Martin. I am so sorry for your loss. I am surprised and somewhat disheartened to learn that my friends still have to train their children differently than I do. Thank God that when we rejoice in Heaven we will all be the same--Really the Same---- just as God sees us.

A Woman's Right To Make Reproductive Decisions

This casual wording especially when coming from a fellow Christian is shocking to me. I don't know why it still is because I have heard it many times...but it does still chill me to the core. Does God not make it clear that after we make a decision to make a baby that indeed it is a baby and we do not have the right to take it's life? I can understand a woman who does  not have a belief in God feeling that it is "their right" and "their body", but a Christian woman knows that her body is the temple of God. Should we not be speaking of abstinence to our children instead of being proud of them for "taking a stand" against government- against God? One of my favorite verses is Psalm 139:13. This verse declares how the Lord knitted us together in the womb. He knew us before we were born. I go to this verse so often when I feel like I "just can't get it right" and it reminds me that he knew every step I would take and I just have to trust in my Creator. But, Ladies, when we make the choice to become a physical creator it should not lead to a casual decision or a quick trip to the local drug store or clinic because we have a "right" to reverse our decision. I think we sometimes get lost as women of God and lose sight of the truth....especially when we see someone hurting or it is our own loved one that we have tried to prepare for life in the best way we knew how. Nevertheless, We must be women of truth to ourselves and our loved ones. To my knowledge, Jesus never spoke in gray terms. He spoke with love and compassion but always in truth.

Thank you, Father, for giving us the "right" to follow you in solid truth and understanding. I continue to pray for my own friends who have made the decision to abort a baby and still live with pain and wonder of what would have been. I pray for my own son and daughter who are young now but will grow, if it is Your will, in this world and will have to face tough decisions. Thank you for knowing our hearts, Lord, for loving and forgiving us.

Hairs On My Couch

These lovely assets are the hairs that are on my couch daily. I never imagined that I would be "that lady", the lady with hair on my clothes, in my car, always on my furniture and floor and sometimes even in the crevices on my shower. (Gross I know!!) But these little intrusions are left by our dear family dog, Georgia. She is the apple of my kiddos eyes so I tolerate...(OK, Sometimes I admit I yell and complain but-that is where the controlling my mouth asset is still in training) and neverendingly vacuum after our precious companion. Today as I came downstairs at 5:00 in the morning and gritted my teeth at the hair covered sofa that I just cleaned yesterday, I wondered... "What hairs do I leave on my Father's sofa". God could not have yelled at me any louder, "Your hurtful words are all over my house". Folks, this is not easy to hear. We need to deliver our messages with the love of Christ. How we speak can be as important as what we say. James 3:8-12 talks about the tongue and how much damage that we can do with our words. James talks about how we praise the Lord then curse our brother and how the mouth controls our whole body and contenance. I am telling you, Friends, these verses are not for the faint of heart or as our beloved southern baptists preachers would say "Lukewarm Christians". I challenge you to take a few minutes alone today and read them and let them guide you as they will change your life. We love our dog despite her simple uncontrollable flaw of leaving enough hair to clothe every hairless animal in the world all over my house. Our Father loves us even though we leave our messes of training all over His house. Thank you, Father, for making us the apple of Your eye and for another training day.

Living and Learning

I am living and learning everyday. God is growing me through his flowers and sometimes thorns; but, always with grace. I am so happy that you will join me on this journey to grow as a Proverbs 31 woman. I know it will not always be easy and it is sure to be humorous at times but with God all things are possible. (Even controlling my tongue....) I am a poster child for the "sandwich" generation... which is why I struggled with the naming of this blog since my monogram is pBj. My parents are aging and I am quickly becoming the parent to them and my babies are still little. I have a 4 year old angel and a 9 year old superstar. My children and my husband are the loves of my life. God has blessed me with them to walk by my side. I hope to be able to share practical and spiritual things that God teaches me as I care for my parents and children. My prayer is that you will find it helpful and uplifting.

The bible teaches us to walk by faith and not by sight in 2 Cor. 5:7. Oh how I have learned over the past few weeks how hard this can be. This chapter goes on to talk about how we will all come before the judgement seat of Christ. I encourage anyone who is feeling that life is treating them "unfairly" to meditate on this chapter. We will be accountable for what we do on this earth. Thank our Lord, that we do not have to answer for anyone else. We can trust in the fact that if we call upon our Father to guide us and we do what is right that He sees and He will love us through any situation. Then we can rest in the fact that we do not have to concern ourselves with everyone or everything that treats us unjustly in this life. Fair is for us to die for our sins, so we should be so grateful and thankful that our Father made a way for us NOT to be treated fairly.

Thank you, Father, for sending your son to pay the price for my sins so that I may live undeservingly in heaven with You someday.